Mom to Multiples: My Artificial Insemination Story

I had a fairly uneventful pregnancy the first time. I loved having my one ultrasound and visiting the doctor to know exactly where the baby was positioned inside me so I could soothe it in utero. I worked up to the week my baby was born. I went into labor on my own, had an epidural and had a baby girl after 2 ½ hours of pushing. I tried to soak in the entire experience, painful as it was, in case I never got to do it again. I still remember the final push and feeling of my stomach crashing down like a balloon being deflated. (I wish I could lose weight that instantly all the time!) I remember the relief and tears of joy I cried when I saw her. Nursing was sore at first and she was a horrible sleeper but I didn’t give up and tried to treasure my moments with her…her smell, silky skin, long fingers, tiny butt and coos.

mom to multiplesAbout three years later I finally convinced my husband we needed to try again so that we wouldn’t leave her on this earth an only child. Two years after that when we still weren’t pregnant we started going through infertility tests. We underwent testing, took fertility drugs and had my blood levels monitored. Each month that passed I was devastated. I kept thinking of how our daughter would be alone some day or so far apart in age from her sibling they wouldn’t be close.  For that I was thankful I had treasured those labor and newborn moments.

Our doctor told us the next step was insemination and then in vitro. Our insurance would only cover expenses up to the point where we attempted insemination so we had to pay everything out of pocket. My husband and I agreed to try insemination four times (it’s our lucky number and all we could afford). Lucky for us it worked the second time…twice. Our first ultrasound showed two beating hearts. Apparently we should have played the lottery the day we were inseminated as there was supposed to be only a 10% chance of multiples! At the moment we saw two beating hearts my heart hit the floor. I cried as I knew my life would change forever. I wouldn’t be going back to work this time. I probably wouldn’t even be able to leave the house! I told the ultrasound tech that I felt bad for crying. She told me it was a normal reaction. Was it normal to hope that next time there would only be one beating heart? I felt too selfishly embarrassed to ask.

During one of the hottest summers on record, I grew bigger and bigger and very uncomfortable. Add to the fact that I tested positive for gestational diabetes and the sheer weight of my body fractured a bone in my foot. At 36 weeks I said enough was enough and we scheduled a c section for the following week. Baby B was breech and my diabetes was very hard to control.   With my complications and maternal age, I also had to be careful as each day that passed the infant mortality rate went up.

Checking in to the hospital I cried and cried. I had never an operation before and was afraid of any post op pain. I was bittersweet as our family wouldn’t be a threesome anymore. Twenty minutes after being wheeled down to the OR, I had two healthy and handsome baby boys.

Whether you believe motherhood begins at conception or birth, both times I became a mother are very different from each other and I wouldn’t change one single thing about either time. I hold each experience close to my heart and often replay it in my mind late at night when one of them wakes and I snuggle them close to me and nuzzle their heads.

My heart aches a little knowing that I will never become a mother to a new baby again but I thank God for the chance to experience it the ways I did. I thank Him for giving me my daughter first as she is like a little mommy to the boys and for keeping those two hearts beating the whole 37 weeks . Because there isn’t one of them that I would give back no matter how crazy things get!!!!

*Special thanks to our guest blogger, Laura Mallicoat for sharing her story with us today!  Be sure to follow the rest of our “How I Became a Mother” series by clicking on the image here:

How I Became a Mother...

 

1 COMMENT

  1. Hi Laura,
    Your history is very impresive, so i want your help with some information,
    I have testicular cancer history, because of that I´m unfruitful, so me and my wife want to try artifitial insemination but we are researching about that possibility so please can you give me an email so we can put in contact with you

    Thanks in advice

    JC

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