Speak Life.

I recently read a blog post that really resonated with me on one of our Sister Sites.  Simplified, the message of it was to be careful of the way you speak to and about your children…because your words become their inner voice and help them define who they are. {Read the entire post on Knoxville Moms Blog here.} As I pondered these words over the next few days, a new thought began to take root.  Don’t these same principles apply to adults as well? Don’t they apply to me?!

The words you sayTake a minute to remember the last thought you had about yourself.  Were you looking in the mirror, chastising yourself for those last 25 pounds you still have to lose? Or the wrinkles on your face? Were you wishing your clothes fit better? Or that your wardrobe looked more like your neighbor’s down the street?  Were you berating yourself for the dishes in the sink and the toys on the floor when your friend stopped by out of the blue?  Or thinking about the piles of laundry you haven’t gotten to yet?  Maybe you were feeling guilty for having to drop your baby off at daycare this morning. Or for the long hours your significant other works so you have a chance to stay home with the kids.

What record of guilt, discontent, or self-beratement do you have playing in your head right now?

Put it on pause for a moment and think back to your own childhood.  Think of your mom, or your aunt, or your grandma…whomever it was that raised you.  What do you think of when you remember her?  Do you think of how flat her stomach was? Or whether she was always dressed to the nines? Or whether the house was spotless? Or how she compared to your friends’ moms?

I doubt it.

I bet you’re remembering how she always made your favorite meal for your birthday. Or made sure to attend your sporting events and recitals.  Maybe you’re remembering games of Go Fish and catching fireflies after dark. Or how she’d read you stories at night and help you with your homework.

We live in an age of comparison and self-doubt. Oh, it’s always been around. But now we not only compare ourselves to our friends and neighbors, and the cover girl on the magazine. We also compare ourselves to the Pinterest moms and the mommy bloggers and the artificial realities of the women in our newsfeeds.

Those words you’ve been telling yourself in your head…that you’re not thin enough or pretty enough. Or that you’re not doing enough for your kids or your spouse. Or that you’ll never be as ____ as Jane. If you say them enough, pretty soon you start to believe it. And they’re simply not true.

You are beautiful, mama. And to your child, you are the world.

Let those words sink in. Deep into your heart. And into your mind.

 

The words you speak become the house you live in Hafiz

 

Let me challenge you today to start changing your focus.  From who you aren’t and what you can’t do, to who you ARE and what you are DOING. I want you to take a few minutes each day to sit by yourself with no distractions. No kids. No t.v. No phone. And think about 5 things that you love about yourself. Or that you’re proud of. Or that you’re thankful for.  The key is: it has to be about you. Think about it in your mind. And write it down somewhere. In a journal. On a sticky note you put on your mirror.  Do this every day for a week. Whether it’s first thing in the morning or the last thing at night…it doesn’t matter. Just try it.

Then come back here and let me know if it’s made a difference in how you view yourself. If it’s making a difference in your relationships. If it’s changing the record that’s playing in your head. And then make it a habit. See how it changes your life.

I hope to hear from you soon!!

Kaitlyn is the owner of Cedar Rapids Moms Blog and is an Iowa girl who has been married to her husband, Joshua, since 2007! She’s a busy work-at-home mama to their 5 children: 3 girls and 2 boys! A true Hawkeye, she graduated from the University of Iowa with her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology, something that comes in handy on a daily basis while trying to raise 5 kids! Her favorite things to do include spending time with her family, cheering on the Hawkeyes, reading a good book, shopping (of course!), and checking out all the activities the Corridor has to offer!

1 COMMENT

  1. Thanks for writing this! I am with Knox Moms Blog and have been thinking a lot about my inner voice lately. I shared your post with my workout group. There is also a great article in psychology today about inner voice. Take care of yourself!

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