10 Things Your Working Mom Friend Wants You to Know

Being a mom is never easy, no matter how you do it. Staying home, working from home, or working outside the home – they’re all hard and wonderful in different ways. As I’ve adjusted to being a working mother of two over the last year, I’ve found myself wishing for more hours in the day as I try to balance family time, work time, household chores, basic human needs, and a social life. I know this balance is a struggle for most working moms, so if you are one, or if you know one, this list is for you. Here are 10 things working moms may want the people in their lives to know.

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1. She’s still here.

She may not be able to call you right back, respond to your texts, or come to your parties, but she still cares. She still wants to know what’s going on in your life. And someday, when the dust settles, she hopes you’ll see more of her again. It’s not personal; she’s just buried under the weight of all of her responsibilities, and she can’t quite climb her way out yet.

2. She wishes that playdates and events were scheduled on the weekends more often.

It’s so disappointing to see and hear about fun family activities that she just can’t join. She would like to chat with other moms and take her kids to the pumpkin patch, fire station, or park playdate, but these things usually happen during the work week. She understands the need to socialize during the week, but if you can ever schedule your event on the weekend, it would mean a lot to her.

3. Holidays, milestones, and traditions are bittersweet.

Pinterest just reminds her of all the parenting goals she had that are now impossible to meet. She might dream of baking cookies from scratch, decorating the house from top to bottom, and dressing her kids in festive outfits all the time, but it’s just not going to happen. Instead, she tries to create warm memories on a smaller scale and hopes the kids still find the magic.

4. It’s impossible to ever feel like she’s on top of things.

Having two full-time jobs makes it hard to do either one as well as you’d like. If she manages to get ahead at work, chances are she’s falling behind at home, and vice versa. It’s a balancing act with no equilibrium, and it takes a physical and emotional toll.

5. Sometimes, she really misses her kids while she’s at work.

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6. Sometimes, she really doesn’t.

It feels good to do her job, especially if she’s lucky enough to like what she does. As long as she knows that her kids are being well taken care of, it’s easy to get caught up in the tasks at hand. Before she knows it, the whole day has passed.

7. She’s exhausted and under an enormous amount of pressure…

Just like all moms.

8. She doesn’t take it for granted.

She gets to have adult conversation, use the restroom in private, and have her body to herself for 8 hours a day, and she thoroughly appreciates it.

9. Daycare is not a dirty word.

A good daycare feels like family, and she’s happy for all the additional people that love and care for her children, and for all the friendships, love, and learning that happens there.

10. We’re all in this together.

Moms are judged in an unbelievable number of ways. It’s easy to get sucked into feeling like another mom’s choices are somehow a response or a threat to your own. If we focus instead on banding together and supporting each other in the individual ways that we each need to be supported, then nothing could stop us. There is no one more loyal, supportive, and loving than a mother.

Imagine what we can do when we join forces.

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Kristin met her husband in college at Texas Tech University, and they later moved to New Hampshire, where they earned his-and-hers advanced degrees (complete with matching towels) at Dartmouth. They had their first date on Valentine's Day, got engaged on Valentine's Day three years later, welcomed their first daughter (Charlotte) on Valentine's Day three years after that, and their second daughter (Claire) on Valentine's Day three years after that! Kristin and her family moved to Iowa City in 2014 so her husband could begin his residency at UIHC. She is currently laugh-crying her way through raising a threenager and an infant while simultaneously working full-time at the Belin-Blank Center for Gifted Education and Talent Development and juggling the crazy schedule of a resident's wife. Kristin has been a stay-at-home mom, a work-at-home mom, and work-outside-the-home mom, so she can officially judge that each scenario is hard and equally wonderful. In her free time, you can find Kristin either taking pictures and learning about photography, reading about how not to screw up her daughters, on her soapbox about women's rights, enjoying a hard-earned glass of wine, or collapsed from exhaustion. Her life is ridiculous and her heart is full.

1 COMMENT

  1. Kristin, this captured this working mom’s heart just perfectly! Thank you for another insightful and beautifully written post! I’m going to miss your perspective so much!

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