As moms, we can often be really hard on ourselves. We have a never ending to-do list, a million details to keep track of, so many schedules to juggle, and people to care for. Most moms I know aren’t very good at keeping themselves high on the priority list, and we’re definitely not very good at taking breaks to rest and take deep care of ourselves. Until we have to.
A few weeks ago my son came down with Influenza A, which he had picked up from school. He was pretty sick for 4-5 days and I took care of him. Then my daughter got sick, and I took care of her too. And then, as it often happens for moms, I got sick at the end. I figured I would just push through, like I typically do, but my body had other plans for me. I kept telling my husband it was the worst I had ever felt. I went to Urgent Care twice for fluids. And even still, I couldn’t accept that I was very sick and needed to rest and make space for my own healing. By day five, I woke up barely able to breathe after an awful night, and I decided I had better go back to Urgent Care. I thought they would maybe give me a steroid shot for my lungs so I could breathe more easily, and move on. So I could get back to doing all the things again, of course. 😉 Instead, my vitals were terrible, and I failed a bunch of tests that concerned the doctors that I might have a pulmonary embolism; so off I went to the ER, where they ran more tests and admitted me. I spent three days in the hospital on oxygen, and breathing treatments, and IV antibiotics with a really bad case of secondary pneumonia.
And while I was there I did…..NOTHING. I never turned on the television. I could barely look at my phone. Sometimes I slept. A lot of the time I just laid there quietly. My body really needed the rest and quietness and space to heal. And I realized that my body was trying to talk to me. It had been trying to slow me down and I hadn’t listened. So then it got really loud, and made the choice for me. And I think this can happen a lot. Our brain overriding our body. All the “shoulds” and expectations around us drowning out our own inner knowing and needs. And eventually the body just steps in and demands what it needs.
When I was back home from the hospital I was so anxious to get back to work and routine and life, but it still took me days of recovery and more rest. And it’s been such a potent lesson for me. And I really do feel a shift. I’m trying to be easier on myself. And find more times to relax and breathe and do nothing. To let my body be on my priority list too.
So this is your sign. If you too are running yourself ragged in a million directions, it’s okay to say no. Or decline that invitation. Or not sign up to volunteer at every event. Or to put yourself to bed early. Or to stop and take a real lunch break and not eat at your desk. Or to go for a walk. Or to relax with a cup of coffee on the couch.
Your worth isn’t weighed by the things you do for others.
