When should we stop lying to our kids about the Tooth Fairy?

I’m getting really sick of covering for this Tooth Fairy person. She’s no-showed on us more times than I can count. She’s late for almost every tooth. I’ve had to make some crazy excuses for her. I’m getting pretty good at it, too. Last night was the final straw, though. My girl thinks the Tooth Fairy doesn’t care about her.

I’m busy. I’m tired. I’m only one person. I forget things. I fall asleep when my kids fall asleep half the time and then they wake up at the crack of dawn when the Tooth Fairy was supposed to show and I’m still dead to the world. I tell them she’s just late and then sneak in and do the thing. But sometimes, in my rush in the dark, I screw up the thing. Like the time I accidentally grabbed bar coins instead of actual quarters.

My daughter’s belief has wavered many times. She asks if the Tooth Fairy is real and I reply, “Do you want her to be?” “Yes.” “Then she’s real.” 

It’s starting to feel dirty. But I’m also not ready to take away that innocence. I feel like believing in Santa and the Tooth Fairy and the other tales is so magical and once that belief is gone, so is some of the magic of childhood. But the lying… 

So when do we call it? When do we throw in the towel and tell our littles that we’ve been lying to them all this time so WE don’t feel like we’re losing our babies? My daughter is almost 10. I stopped believing when I was much younger than that. My best friend told me Santa was a lie while we were having breakfast one morning. I’ll never forget it. I hid behind cereal boxes and cried. 

But I can’t keep this up anymore. I forget and it hurts her feelings. She thinks she doesn’t matter to the Tooth Fairy anymore and the Tooth Fairy has forgotten about her. It’s devastating. To both of us. I feel like I have to tell her. Plus, if I tell her, she can help me remember the Tooth Fairy needs to show up for her brother…

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