Being a mom is the hardest job we will ever love. In a world that is constantly moving so fast, the pressure builds. We are juggling appointments, schedules, work … the list goes on. At the same time, the world we are currently living in is heavy. The news and current events bring feelings of dread and helplessness. Additionally, people can be downright nasty to each other on social media and in real-life. If a person does not agree with you, they are an enemy.
People have different views politically and instead of coming from a place of learning from each other, they attack each other. Instead of thinking and acting as if we are in this pandemic together, people have treated each other horribly. It is all so much. Too much.
With all of this weighing on us, we are expected to be positive. We are supposed to put on brave, happy faces for our kids. So how do we stay positive? How do we help our kids find the good things in life? These are five ways.
Being a Positive Mom: Five Ways to Find the Good
Know that you are doing the best you can and give yourself grace on the bad days.
Life is hard. There are times we have moments we are not proud of. We let the weight of the world overwhelm us and like a volcano, we just erupt some days. But when our actions are not our best we should verbalize that. We apologize to our kids and our spouse. We share with our kids that we made a mistake. We are teaching them that even adults have moments they are not proud of and that it is okay to admit and ask for forgiveness. In those moments we give ourselves grace too. We know that every day and every moment is a chance to do better and to start anew.
Show gratefulness and gratitude.
There are always good things in this world even when it feels helpless. There is the laughter of our kids. There is a good talk with a friend. There is a hug from our spouse or significant other. There are always things to be grateful for. We just need to find them. We know that we are where we are for a reason. On those challenging days we may need to really look to find the positives, but they are there. We just need to take the time to find them. When we do recognize them, we need to take a moment to breathe and be grateful.
Lead with love.
When the world gets us down, we need to always remember the Golden Rule. We need to “do unto others as we would have them do unto you.” When people hurt us or we feel defeated, we need to remember that love is the best medicine. We need to carry ourselves with grace and dignity and not let the actions of others dictate how we walk this road or how we feel about ourselves. What others do or say to us does not define who we are. It is hard to forgive and not want to retaliate, but by doing our best to love anyway we are giving the message that we can rise above the hardships.
Give hugs. Lots of hugs.
Even when the world is weighing me down, a hug from my kids or my spouse helps me to instantly feel better. Our kids need to know our love. We can do this by embracing our kids and showing them love even on the days that they have hurt us or we have hurt them. We want our kids to know how to process feelings and emotions and by always showing them love, we will hopefully teach them to in fact be loving people.
Be a source of encouragement.
On the days when we feel defeated, we need to remember to encourage our kids. Telling them how proud we are of them, or what they have done to bring us joy will encourage them to continue to try their best or to do the right things. When my kids get out of the car each morning at school, I always tell them to be kind, make good choices, to be brave and have fun. I think that little bit of encouragement can help start their school day off on the right foot. It can help them realize they can face whatever challenges come their way, I even do this on the mornings that have been hard. The mornings where someone slept in too late, was not moving quickly, or lost something. You name it, I feel like those are the days that our kids need the most encouragement —and really we do too.
As a mom, there are so many pressures of this world to be the perfect mom, the perfect spouse, to have it all together. Some of these are self-imposed, some of these are society driven. We have to know that not a single one of us is perfect and that we can only do the best we can do. When people hurt us or make us feel inferior, we have to know that is not a reflection on who we are, but rather an insecurity on their end. There is a poem that a friend gave me many years ago and it is something I constantly come back to when the world gets me down. I hope you know that you are amazing and you are doing your best even when it does not always feel like it. Have confidence in yourself and know that there is still good in this world and there are still good people out there.
People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.